...is it possible I am beginning to understand food...?

I will not pretend I crashed through 10 pounds or anything but I did lose another half a pound, which makes me pretty darn happy and brings my total to 10 and a half hard earned pounds. YAY ME!!! I have been working out but far more sporadically than I should, in fact I should be working out now, and not writing this blog, but I had lots to say today...and hopefully this will shame me into getting my arse into gear on my eliptical.

Food means luxury and happiness to me, it symbolizes love, admiration and generosity, especially when I get to share it with people I am close to...these are things that my family showed me, the good and the bad. Thus I decided my main mission through all of this is not to feel deprived...EVER as when i feel deprived I feel hopeless and unloved ...yes SERIOUSLY! Needless to say in trying to avoid feelings of deprivation I did not completely succeed, especially in the first two weeks , but that has really changed these last 14 days. I have also noticed that things I find amazing, gorgeous and decadent are staaaaarrrrting to change. I made grilled chicken, twice this weekend as the weather was to die for, I brined the chicken, and then marinated it in olive oil, garlic, rosemary and lemon, the first time I charred it too much, but the second time came up beautifully, then for dessert I grilled nectarines and served them up with mascarpone...silky and delicious. My honey and I felt sated and blessed afterward, both of us reflected how having 'dessert' made us feel like we were breaking the 'rules'...in the 'old' days a bad day for us might have included numerous bars of chocolate and vast amounts of candy too (mostly me, he would have consumed an entire block of cheese), now it is nectarines and mascarpone.

I also think it is interesting how this has turned ALL my theories about food and weight on their ear...being a huge know-it-all this is really hard for me, and also pretty darn nice that my own hopelessness is being proven wrong. I still cannot believe that I can lose weight, eating vast amounts of proteins and veggies, at least a serving of mayo every day, and a great deal of olive oil (counting points on WW made me almost pathological about fats), which btw has REALLY improved my skin...those Italians seem to be on to something.

This might just come from a possible false high I am feeling..it could be the spring fever...tomorrow I will probably be back to my snarky, flippant self, but for today, all is right with the world, and the laws of nutrition are starting to make sense to me. GOD,I HOPE IT LASTS!