Day 3 and day 4...

Well day 4 hasn't really begun, I mean I have eaten breakast which was bacon and eggs. Day three was just fine, I had a VERY large steak for dinner, that I probably should have sawed in half, but it was too delicious. I plan on trying the zucchini soup recommended by blogitone and some salmon for dinner too tonight.

I did have a super dark moment in my car yesterday though, I was driving home in traffic, feeling defeated and that old nagging 'what do you have to look forward to if not large amounts of candy' was plaguing me . It stayed with me for a while then I got home and we had a lovely friend over for dinner, and I had a glass of wine, and my new Jilly Cooper was on my bed expecting to be cracked open, and the Good Wife premiered, and I have Glee waiting on my DVR, and my dog was very pleased to see me, and my honey was making roasted butternut soup and listening to music so loudly it made my ears bleed...... :)

Day 2...AGAIN....@#$%^!

Okkkkay, made it through day one. Almost, but not quite perfectly. I succumbed and had a glass of wine with my dinner, but I also had eggs, and salad, and ham and split pea soup and cheese ...and wait for it, wait for it...not a single drop of sugar! Yipppeee. 13 days to go.

The challenge ahead to is to make this week work, it is much easier to do this when I am less busy, anyway I am working all day until Wednesday then Thursday and Friday are back to being free, which is going to be fab-I get some grumpy when I work a 7 day week. I have great plans for my days off including a game called Settlers of Qatan, yes it is as nerdy as it sounds, but great fun and of course some Euchre too. I also need to start filing some music as my method of collecting it leaves much to be desired.

In other news, I am so glad to have TV back, none of the new shows are much to write home about although I thought Hawaii 5 O was kind fun, and I really like the new comedy with Will Arnett and Kerri Russell-I think it is called Running Wilde. Can I say that the sight of Betty White as the anthropology prof in the season opener of Community using tribal weapons to stun and control her loser students made me snort liquid out of my nose.

Day 1 ....AGAIN....@#%%^!

I have decided to go back onto Phase 1. I tried to do it yesterday but it did not work...wa wah. Actually maybe I made it not work. When I first started SB I did it at someone else's house, over my birthday, during a gig, usually those would all be huge obstacles, but quite frankly I was unbelievably motivated. Now I am sort of at a loss.

Ewww this blog is very hard to write, I keep speaking in cliches or being flippant and having to delete stuff and start again. My original idea behind my blog was to publicly shame myself into once and for all changing the way I felt about food-well sugar mainly. It worked very well I felt the weight(ha ha) of outside scrutiny as an extra motivational force, but that has faded for me too. I am trying to analyze what happened when this same feeling came over me before, and then do the opposite. I think that means being VERY honest about everything instead of retreating into the sugar haze I would like to hide in. I feel unmotivated and bored and at a loss. I am so frustrated with my career and frustration makes me hungry... and not care... and reckless food wise...

Oh good grief!

fell off the wagon then the wagon drove over me and reversed just to make sure, I was well and truly done

Haven't blogged for over a week with re: my food intake etc, for a few reasons

• I am utterly uninspired
• I am sick of watching everything I put into my mouth, and decided to consume cake, pasta and coke as a welcome change
• I am bored
• I am lazy
• I am busy

P.S what do I have to show for my efforts at self destruction. I feel depressed heavy and energy-less....mmmmmmmmmmm.

Oh dear.

Sort of back on track exercise wise, I mean at least I'm walking again, though not very extended distances yet, but I am having some issues being super strict with the food which is what it takes for me to be very successful with re: south beach. Yesterday was my first clean and sober day if you know what I mean, in a long time.

Organization is key for me: when I am busy I lose my appetite and then the second I am free it comes raging back. GRRR! If I plan my meals in advance I do much better.

Well today is a new day, and despite the fact that I awoke with horrible allergies, I'm also craving chocolate chip pancakes in the worst way. Double GRR! Oh no there was just a pizza advert on TV so now I am craving pizza as well.

Think I better just go back to bed and try and get out on the other side.

Getting back on track in all aspects..

Had my first walk in close to 11 weeks today with my big walking pardner and my poochy... it was fab and pretty easy as we only did about 85 minutes. The weather is stunning, perfectly cool and clear. Back on track with exercsise... horrible, horrible food weekend though, won't bore you with the details, suffice to say it was not perfect or even good enough.

On a side note, does anyone else find the body of that obnoxious coach from 'thintervention' truly horrifying. Eeeeeeeuw!!

Labour day (Yes, that IS how the word 'labour' is spelled)

' Been pretty good, left a bit of a party last night relatively unscathed, I ate a large burger sans most of the whole wheat bun and lots of grilled zucchini, I did drink a heavenly cocktail which was part splenda and part sugar in the raw, but hey...live a little, it is a holiday weekend and all. I was pretty proud of myself as I only ate fruit salad instead of ice cream, I mean ice cream is nothing more than a gateway drug for me. Tonight I plan on sharing Chocolat the movie of course with my sweetie. In two days time my big workout buddy arrives, I am girding myself for the assault to my hopelessly lazy muscles.

back from France

One of the reasons I began South Beach was that I got a gig singing Gilda on this amazing island in France called Belle ile en mer (beautiful island of the sea, directly translated) it is special to me for many reasons not least because I met my sweetheart there six years ago. With regard weight, weight removal and trying to be a normal person about food, I have quite a few interesting observations. I lost 20 pounds between my audition in January and the opening night of production in July, the weight loss was far faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar slower than my impatient self could take but here is the good news, it is coming off so friggin' slowly that it seems it is not coming back with any haste either, I know this because I went to the island with all kinds of good intentions which included six days on and one day off to eat whatever I wanted, that was a super reasonable idea I think and it lasted around 36 hours, luckily I was not anywhere near delusional enough to plan workouts, except the easy walk to the nearest boulangerie where you could get pane au chocolate so beautiful you 'wished you could rent a room with it' (I heard a really funny irish comedian say that and I had to quote it. as it is utterly true) it also only cost 85 cents, fresh out of the oven.... my mouth is watering...mmm, warm pane au chocolat, okay must get a grip, anyway I consumed a vast amount of those, I was also utterly in the thrall of the Brittany's coke, it is called Breizh cola, and the two os us were BFFs, I had one a day and we never got tired of one another, like all sodas in Europe it has real sugar and not high fructose corn syryp in it, along with the odd Grimbergen dark beer which was as delicious as I remembered good dark beers to be...I won't even talk about the pizza with shrimp, pesto, smoked salmon and lashings of melted cheese which I noshed with gusto at least once a week, okay so here, after the list of heavenly edibles is my observation, I put on 1 and a half pounds. I couldn't believe it, when I got home I changed the battery of my scale as I just can't fathom that is possible, compared to the 2 weeks before I left where very little even passed my lips and I was walking up to three hours a day in the blazing heat and I never lost a single pound!!!!!! So yes, intensely frustrating, but a huge relief when I got home. I am trying to be grateful, instead of deeply resentful, that a summer filled with amazingly decadent French cuisine did not sky rocket my weight as I believe it would have before I had tried to correct my sluggish metabolism. Perhaps I am becoming normal?? and I do not need to obsess about every morsel, perhaps it is true that american food is of such poor quality that we cannot help but add poundage when we consume it, perhaps it was just the heavens giving me a bit of a break... I dunno... but suffice to say I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, and the second I got home I jumped back into phase one, I had some hunger issues and craved alcohol at first which is in fact a sugar craving cleverly disguised, but other than that I was fine, and I am back on the straight and narrow, although last night I had a mouthful of my honey's creme brulee... luckily it wasn't very good so I could resist pretty easily, dreaming of France and their amazing love affair with pleasure instead.