Doubt.

Now begins the hard part, weight not falling off anymore, in fact a pound crept back, which I did nothing to warrant, this above all else scares me in my war, when things happen that I do not understand, that seem to me to defy logic. This makes me want to SCREAM at the supercilious people who write articles and appear on TV reciting platitudes like, weight is only about 'calories in and calories' out, because quite frankly my anecdotal proof denies that patronising 'fact'. Anyway, no use in railing against reality.
In order to stay super motivated, I have decided to create a list of why I reached the end of my tether 13 days ago, now.

• I hate having my picture taken...hate hate hate hate it-I always have in fact, since I was a small child, I feel vulnerable and exposed and extremely plain but in a related horror, I have not been able to enjoy the pictures of my little sisters wedding, because I look so frightful in them.
• My body and voice do not line up in the way the people who run opera houses believe they should. Sad but true fact, whether I like it or not.
  
• I have some really nice clothes in my closet which do not fit me anymore, my favourite is a pair of red engine jeans and a veeeeeeeeery cute pink silk top from Banana Republic.
• In July I am off to the most gorgeous island in France to sing Gilda, a 15 year old girl, who disguises herself as a boy at one stage...'nuff said!